There is a Light

Fingers crossed. . .we may have the keys to our new home on Friday.

http://www.daveandcarla.com/property/698-Walavista-Avenue-Oakland-California

Now I just need to survive six months of construction.

Shana

Maren is 11 Months Old

I am two days late with this. . .on Saturday, Maren was 11 months old. As we approach the one year mark, I can hardly believe that my baby girl is almost a year old. And when I look at her, I don't understand how she went from this tiny little being to a little girl so quickly.

My mom was here for the weekend and was able to help Maren celebrate her eleventh month of life.

At 11 months, this is what Maren is up to.
- She has expanded her vocabulary a bit. Her words include: mama, dada, nana, baby, coco, griffy, go and hi.
- She can high five.
- She waves good-bye.
- She loves Griffin's dog food and water bowl. If I can't find her, I know she's there playing in his bowls.
- She also loves Griffin's bones and I think she feels they are the best teething toys around. (Yuck!)
- She has moved from an open mouthed kiss to a pierced lip kiss.
- She loves to practice standing on her own and is very proud of herself when she does.
- She can walk all over the place as long as she has a hand on something.
- She is either transitioning from one nap to two or has an extreme desire to fight her mama when put down for her naps.
- She can not stay still and makes it quite a challenge to change her diaper. As soon as the diaper is off, she is off at lightening speed.
- She is beginning to like to cuddle, which makes her mama and daddy very happy.
- She loves books and she especially loves to turn the page.
- And I believe her favorite thing on earth is dogs. She gets so excited when she sees them and has to kiss them whenever she sees one in a book.
- She is a big girl with eating. She only wants food she can pick up herself and put in her mouth. If a spoon is used, she needs to be the one to put it in her mouth.
- She suddenly dislikes vegetables and she can't get enough carbs.

We love you Maren!

The Holidays 2009

I can't believe the holidays have come and gone. It went by so fast. And I'm realizing I'm still a bad parent when it comes to photo taking. I really didn't take enough pictures to capture all of the excitement.

We kicked off the holiday season with my holiday party. It was great to have a night out together and Maren had her first overnight stay with Martiza. And from the photos Maritza sent out way, I think she had just as much fun as mom and dad did with their evening.



We had a great Christmas with both sides of our family surrounding us. My mom and dad both came into town to share in Maren's first Christmas. And boy was she ever spoiled. We sent out the warning early saying please don't buy her too much. The hotel is small and we don't have the space for it, so please wait for February for her first birthday. Grandparents being grandparents totally ignored this plea. My mother was the worst offender. She had to ship a box with her gifts because she had so many. And when it arrived it was the size of a washing machine. And when grandpa caught when of this, he couldn't let nana show him up, so he went out an bought a nice sampling of gifts as well.

On Christmas Eve, we went on a Santa hunt to try and have Maren's picture taken, but we failed in that attempt. So, we opted for pictures with a giant Christmas tree and Nana and Grandpa.





That night we celebrated Christmas Eve at the hotel restaurant, which is actually quite nice. If you are in the Oakland area, I suggest stopping by. It has a great view of the lake. Traditionally we host Christmas Eve at our house and Derek prepares a fantastic dinner. But it was kind of nice to just walk down stairs have dinner served with no preparation and no dishes to clean up afterwards. We also opened gifts with my side of the family that night. Maren loved the what was inside the package, but really wasn't into ripping open the fits yet. Most of the gift opening was caught on video by a very sick daddy. (Unfortunately Derek had a terrible cold on Christmas.)

The following day we did our traditionally stocking opening with my mom at her hotel and then headed over to Derek's parents to spend Christmas day. My mom and dad joined us for dinner later in the afternoon.






The next day Jody, dad, Maren and I loaded up in the car and headed down to Corcoran for a Roark family Christmas. I think the last time this crew was together was probably my wedding. So, it was nice to bring everyone together. And I know my grandma loved being there with all of us. The crew included my grandmothers brothers and sister, her children, her grandchildren and great grandchildren.



The following day, we drove back to the bay area and had a little holiday dinner with Derek's closest friends and parents at one of our favorite restaurants Bellanico in Oakland. Unfortunately, this is one of those moments where I didn't use the camera. But we had fun nevertheless. You'll have to imagine it in your head.

From there we moved into a week of visits from friends and relaxation. Derek and I both took the week off of work. And I am so glad we did. It was really nice to just spend time together as a family being lazy and just enjoying one another. This is the first time we have ever taken vacation days for any extended period of time and not actually gone anywhere. Two great things stick out in the week though.

First, I got Derek a cook book from Chez Panisse for Christmas and with it came dinner reservations. We've been wanting to go to this restaurant for a while and I was finally able to get a reservation. (You have to book a month in advance and pretty much take what you can get.) It is a pre-set menu and we were hoping it would not be a pork night because Derek can't eat pork. When they called to confirm the reservation two days before, I asked what would be served and was informed veal would be the main course. We were very bummed about this because neither one of us eat veal due to ethical issues with it. So, we were a bit troubled, but thrilled when we arrived and actually found out we would be having lamb instead. The dinner was lovely. Once again, it was great to have a little date night. And thank you to Cindy for watching Maren for us. (once again. . .no photos of this evening . . .and I forgot the dang menu at the restaurant. Oh well. . .)

That same night, very late in the night, my dear friend Jamie and one of her little girls, Peyton came to visit with us. It was a short visit, but a great visit. We pretty much sat around talking, sharing memories and receiving much needed parenting pep talks. Lately, Maren and I have struggled with nap time. Jamie was able to witness this and talk me through it as tears streamed down my face. Maren loved Peyton and they had a ton of fun playing together. Thank you! And we look forward to our next visit together.



And we rang in the new year at our friend's Trevor and Cindy's. There were four couples and their kids there. The kids played really well together. There were three boys around 18 months and Maren. She loved it. And they were all troopers. They played their hearts out until around 10:00. And when we finally made it in the car, she crashed out immediately. There wasn't a peep out of her as we pulled her out of the car, through the party in the hotel and up into our room, where you could still hear the band from downstairs playing. She didn't mind one bit. She was already in sweet dream land. Pictures exist of this evening, but not in my camera. So, as soon as I receive them, I'll post them.

2009 has been an amazing year. It was filled with the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. I think it will go down as one of my most rewarding and challenging years I have faced to date. In 2010, I look forward to settling and nesting in a new home with my baby girl, Derek and Griffin. And who knows, maybe another little one too. (I mean, we need to keep a little bit of crazy going.) Happy New Year to all!

Happy 10 months Chili Bean

A picture will be posted shortly. . .I am at work.

Today is Maren's 10 month birthday. And here are a few fun facts about her.

1. She weighs 22.44lbs and is 29 inches long. This is in the 90th percentile so most people think she is about 15 months old when they see her.
2. She is crawling all over the place. And for some reason to loves to toilet, which is disgusting. If the door is not closed and she heads towards the bathroom, she will turn on jet speed when she hears to coming after her.
3. She is a professional at lifting herself up to a standing position. She can hold on with one hand and walk around a bit when holding onto things. And on occasion she is able to stand without hands. She's going to be off and running before we know it.
4. She loves french fries. And anything else that is on her mamas plate. She has said good-bye to baby food.
5. Her favorite word is baby. And she loves to see pictures of herself and say baby.
6. She is still addicted to her pacifier. But that's ok.
7. She finally has a tooth and one more is on its way.
8. We are discovering her skin is quite sensitive and gets very ready with many things touch it.
9. She likes to give kisses.
10. And she especially likes to give herself kisses in the mirror.

We love you baby girl.
Mommy

Griffin - We miss you

Griffin moved into our little apartment with us a few weeks back. But, he has since had to be sent to grandma's house. Apartment living just really did not work for him. This is probably mainly our fault. But it is also the case that his breed is a very active breed. And being confined in an apartment just is not something he is use to. What he is use to is slightly larger living quarters with instant access to a backyard via a dog door. Griffin knows not to go to the bathroom in the house. And he has shown he knows this through multiple visits at friends and families homes that do not have dog doors. But they have always had a yard and a fence. So, with a quick open of the door he was able to hang out outside and do his business; and we were able to continue on with ours. In the apartment, it requires a lot of effort on our part, especially at night when we are ready to just go to bed. To make matters worse, we were not aware that turkey makes dogs sick. And we overstuffed Griff with turkey on Thanksgiving. So he had serious stomach problems for a few days after. Because of this, the Sunday after Thanksgiving we loaded him up and off he went to grandma's to hang out with uncle Spark and his dog door. Every day I come home and feel terribly guilty about this. I know he has more space, a friend to play with and he is well cared for by Kathy and Randy. But we all miss him, including Maren. He has another week out there; and then I plan to pick him up and bring him back with us. I'll be off work for the remainder of the year; and hopefully we'll have a new home to take him to after that. Poor Griffy. He has had to deal with a ton of change during this whole house process. He must be so confused. I'm sorry buddy. You'll be home soon. And then we might get you a friend.

She's on the Move

Maren decided to really take off crawling the weekend we moved out of our house. It was perfect timing. :) She was filthy after a day of crawling around all over our house pre-final cleaning.

And once she started, she hasn't stopped. She is all over the place and into everything. It is super cute to watch, but man you can't take your eye off of her for a minute. When you do, you find her in situations like this. . .

- Sitting chewing on Griffins bones or toys
- With a lamp plug pulled out of the outlet and in her mouth
- Playing daddy's guitar
- Tearing apart mommy's magazines
- Playing in Griffin's food and water
- Touching the toilet
- Pulling stuff out of mommy's purse

Lesson learned, don't leave her alone unless she is secured in a location without anything dangerous. We have to quickly Maren proof the apartment.

Good Bye 1397 Barrows Rd

Well. . .it is official, we no longer live at 1397 Barrows Road.

We moved out the weekend before Thanksgiving. It was 72 hrs of moving. How we pulled it off is beyond me. We wouldn't have pulled it off without the help of my dad, brother and Kerri. Somehow, we placed 80% of our house inside a 16x8x10 container. The other 10% went to a furnished apartment we are living in in Oakland. And the other 10% ended up in Sara's backyard. Too bad it's not summer, they've now have plenty of patio furniture and bbq's to have a great party.

So why didn't we go to Dublin to stay with Derek's mom? We really couldn't face the commute. It was going to be hard on all of us. And fortunately we found a place to accommodate us and Griffin at the last minute. It is a one bedroom furnished apartment. It has a lot of closet space, so thankfully I've been able to stuff a lot of things in there. The unfortunate part of the situation is within a week, we quickly discovered Griffin isn't cut out for apartment living. And he has had to go stay with Derek's mom, Kathy indefinately. Poor guy. We're sad without him, but he has a lot more space there, access to outside anytime he wants it and a great companion with their dog Spark.

Patience is already wearing thin trying to hold out for our new house. We'll see how long we last. Hopefully we get some news soon. Otherwise, we need to move to plan B.

This seriously ranks pretty high on the moments of stress in Shana's life scale. But when I really start to lose it, I stop and think about all of the families out there without homes or living in smaller spaces than we have without proper living facilities. And I realize my situation really isn't that bad. I am in the fortunate position to be able to choose where I live on my own terms. I am greatful for that. And I will have a new home when all the stars align.

Maren is 9 months old

Today is Maren's 9 month birthday. How is that possible? And through all of this craziness, I almost forgot.

Maren said her first word other than dada or mama Saturday evening. I was reading her favorite little book peekaboo puppy and at the end it says peekaboo baby. And after I said baby. . .she said baby. And we did it a few more times to confirm I was not hearing things. She was for sure saying baby and associating the picture with baby. It was amazing.

She amazes me on a regular basis. She is so strong. How is this little 20lb creature able to do the things she can do. She can move a full plate with one little finger.

She loves exploring food. And she is a good eater. She loved trying new fruit while we were in Hawaii; and pineapple seemed to be a big hit with her. She likes to hold food and put it in her mouth herself. And even though she has no teeth, she likes to try and bite off pieces of food.

And she loves electronics, especially cell phones. And even better is a cell phone with her picture on it. She loves to look at pictures of herself; and she likes to look at herself in the mirror.

She has been trying really hard to crawl. She has been scooting backwards for a while and she finally had her first official crawl today.

My favorite thing of all though is the fact that she poses for pictures. She knows when that camera is being used and she looks right at you with the greatest smile. Here are a few of her recent shots.

Happy 9 month birthday Lovey.

Love,
Mama

Buying and Selling Real Estate

Well. . .we have been back from Hawaii for about 72 hrs and my stress levels are equally as high if not higher than they were when we left. :( We are in the process of selling our house and buying a new home, which is a fixer upper and in a short-sale process. Lessons I have learned so far:

1. Never ever try to sell a house when you have a new baby and a dog, if you live in an area that requires your home to be picture perfect each day when you walk out the door. Move out before you sell it.

2. Selling a home is not a friendly process. It is every man and women for himself. Do not trust anyone.

3. Realtors only make matters more stressful. They don't take the time to understand the full situation. This creates the worst case of the old game"telephone" you can imagine. Meaning is lost along the way.

4. Do not hire a Realtor that sells everything in your area. Because he is selling everything in your area, he has no time for you--this is especially important if your home is not the most expensive property in the area.

5. Do every possible inspection known to man before buying a property. If you don't, it will come back to bite you in the end.

6. Never buy a short-sale property. The uncertainty of it is horribly frustrating, especially if you are a natural control freak.

7. Remember the advice of your elders who tell you. . ."I got divorced over a project like that." Do everything you can to ensure that doesn't happen.

8. Saying good-bye to your first real home is emotional. Let yourself mourn it for one evening. Then move forward.

9. Finding the strength to not lose yourself in the stress is difficult, but required, especially when you now have a family depending on you.

10. Having a vision of the future and knowing the good that will come out of the long road ahead is what will see you through the situation.

Chin up Shana. . .you've survived worse situations.

And as Derek continues to say. . ."This is for the good of our family."

We're out of our house as of this weekend. And we're off to Derek's moms probably through the end of the year. Wish me luck with the move; and look forward to the day when I invite you over to my new home.

Aloha

We are in Hawaii. This is day four. It really feels like day two though because the first two days were filled with traveling. Friday we flew out here. Maren did a pretty good job on the flight. She would have done a better job if the flight crew didn't love speaking on the loud speaker so much. So she only slept for the first thirty minutes and then she was a squirming little gal. But overall, she was good. And she became friends with a man sitting across from us. He loved her and she loved him. That was fun to watch.

Maren was asleep by 5:45 that night; and mom and dad were crashed out by 6:45. That led to an early morning wake up from the little gal. It was raining until about 10:30 that morning. And we checked out of our hotel at 12:00 to then load up at Costco and then pick my mom and run up at the airport. Then we headed to the other side of Kauai to Princeville. This is where we are staying the rest of the week. We were all beat by then so it was an early night again.

Yesterday we headed to the Wailua River area and took a boat ride to the Fern Gratto. Maren loved watching everyone on the boat and crashed out as soon as we hit the Fern Gratto and all the way back to shore. She had too much fun on the ride there. And after that we headed to what is called the queens bath. The signs heading down the path said Treacherous, proceed at your own risk. So, Derek, Ron and I hit the trail while mom and Maren stayed behind. It was a pretty scary trail. It was wet and slick with rocks and a pretty sloped decline down to the area. And once you make it down the hill there is a sign pretty much saying people have died, watch out because the waves can take you away. And when we finally made it there I could completely understand. Yet there were still crazy people getting in there. There is no way on earth. I told Derek as we were heading down, if I fall and may die. Don't come after me. Maren needs you. Lovely thoughts to have on a vacation, but you never know. And at the end of the day mom and Ron were kind enough to take care of Maren so Derek and I could grab a bite to eat together. So, we headed to a local Sushi restaurant in Hanalei called Dolphins. It was nice to have some time to ourselves. Thanks mom and Ron!

Day 4 started with Maren up at 4:30 am. We will see what the rest of the day has in store for us.

Halloween

Maren is in love with her little Giraffe Sophie. It is sadly the Bay Area toy to have, which I'm not always a fan of, but there is truly something about this thing that she can't get enough of, so we decided Maren should be Sophie for Halloween.

We spent the morning at a little Halloween brunch with a group of friends with young children. We tried to line them all up on the couch to get a shot of all of them. They were not having it. So, we tried to throw the moms into the mix and it was still madness.

That evening we headed over to Sara and Jon's for some pizza --our staple food at the moment--and did a little trick-or-treating with Leyna and Hudson. That didn't last long though. Maren was ready for bed after about 3 houses.

And these other shots are from Maren's little trip the weekend before to Half Moon Bay. Half Moon Bay is known for the pumpkins; and they have amazing pumpkin patches there. My mom flew up for a short little visit with my brother, so they met us there.

Flashback becomes reality

Hey ladies. . .remember the big hair days of the 80's and early 90's, the toxic smell of the chemicals you placed on your hair to achieve the ultimate curl. Don't let anyone tell you the perm is out. I've brought it back. Don't ask me what got into me, but I was super tired of my hair and everything else about the 80's has come back, so I decided to bring the perm back. I haven't exactly mastered styling it yet. I'm a bit of a frizzy mess, but I have confidence I'll be back into the swing of things shortly. I actually really like it. And as soon as I get a chance, I'll take a picture of myself and post it. Until then, I leave you with this.

Happy 8 mo. birthday baby girl

Today is Maren's 8 month birthday. It is amazing how fast time flies by. Before I know it, she is going to be a year old.

Things I like to do at 8 months:
- Play with my giraffe.
- Chew on anything I can get my hands on.
- Grab anything remotely close to me.
- Scoot on my belly backwards
- Babble, babble, babble
- Jump around in my exersaucer
- And push any button, especially on cell phone or remote controls.
- Last but not least, never leave home with out my passy.

Man am I behind!

I admit it, I have been absolutely terrible about the blog since my return to work. I have not had a single post. But it was one year ago that I started the blog, so I've decided now is a great time to try to get back into the swing of things. Part of the problem is I'm on a computer all day long at work; and the thought of getting back on the computer just is not something I want to do when I'm at home. And I always feel pressure to make sure I include a picture, which I really should be doing, but I don't have them on my work computer. And the best time for an update is on my bus ride home from work. So here I am on the bus, with no pictures, but finally getting back into the swing of things.

What have the Lindgrens been up to the last 3 months? A whole lot!

July:
I started work and it was a total nightmare. I came back to a complete reorganization of my division, many people that I had worked with for years left the company and there was more work than I could imagine to get done. I was not ready to dig back in on that level. I had a few days of tears at work; and thankfully was able to find a better position for me. I have moved over into our HR department. This is unfamiliar territory for me. I'm use to being on the business side of things, but they wanted to bring someone in that understood the company and could help them get things done. And that's me! The best part of it all is I am only working four days a week. This is life changing; and if you have an ability to do it, I highly recommend it.

August:
- I had a birthday. I think I turned 32 (I'm having a hard time remember how old I am these days.) It was relatively uneventful. We drove from Orange County to Oakland. We were actually at a wedding that weekend, so we had something else to celebrate. It was the wedding of our good friend that introduced us, Susie Vaks. It was a Persian wedding; and I loved experiencing a different culture's approach to marriage and a wedding ceremony. It was a beautiful event; and we experience so many new and amazing foods. It was a two day event. There was a traditional ceremony on Friday night at her parent's house and then an American style reception on Saturday. We had a ton of fun. We stayed out until 4am on Saturday. I can't believe I made it that long. My mom watched Maren, which was awesome. But it made for a tough Sunday. We were up at 9:00 and back with Maren at 12:00. And she was ready to play with mommy and daddy.

- During the month, Maren became really good at sitting up on her own.

September:
- Over Labor Day weekend we went to Corcoran. My grandma Gibb's and aunt Tammy were visiting from Arkansas. It was really good to see them. But, it was also hard because Alzheimers is really effecting my grandmother. But she was able to spend time with her brother and sisters; and her sister-in-laws. She really enjoys remembering the past, so they are the best people for her right now. She did remember me. And she knew I had a baby, but she kept calling Maren my little boy no matter how many times I told her she was a girl. And I even tried to solidify that thought by reminding she was named after her (her middle name). But it never stuck. I know deep down in that frail little body is the grandmother I have loved dearly for so many years. And I know deep down she hasn't forgot all the special times we have shared together. Unfortunately we all decided it was a tough trip on her and she likely will not be able to travel again. So, we'll just have to start visiting Arkansas more often.

- I also saw a few good friends from high school while in Corcoran. Melinda is about to have her first child; and she had a babyshower that weekend. Jamie and her daughter Lexi attended, as did Paula and her family. Jamie and Lexi joined us for a family BBQ at my dad's after the party. It was really great to spend some time with her and catch up.

- Maren is still without a tooth. She drools and drools and drools, but still no tooth. And she has learned to clap to a little song the nanny sings, but for some reason she won't do it when I sing it. Derek says it's because it's in spanish and I have a terrible white person accent when trying to speak spanish.

- My mom came to visit us on a business trip; and Derek and I had a much needed night out. We had been counting down the days to finally seeing a movie. We haven't seen one since Maren was born, but when it came down to it, we thought we'd fall asleep watching a movie, so we went to dinner instead.

- And to end the month, Derek started a new job at Wells Fargo. He is now the Vice President of Database Marketing. We are very proud of him. We have had a conscious role reversal when it comes to our working lives. He is now slammed with work; and I'm letting things ride.

October:
We've lost or minds. We are selling our house and buying a money pit. It is about five streets over from our current house and more than double in size. It is basically un-liveable at the moment. And it is a short sell, so it likely will not close until December. In the meantime, our house went on the market last week. Do you know anyone that wants a two bedroom one bath home that is way too expensive for the size home you get? If so, let me know. I'll be happy to sell it to them. And for those of you that have never seen our home, you can check it out here. I worked very hard to make it look like this with a child and a dog living in the house.
Current House:
http://www.grubbco.idxre.com/idx/PhotoTour.cfm?cid=42&pid=40433067&bid=1&pt=SFR&actv=0

Last weekend, October 10th, Maren had her first plane ride. And she was such a good girl on the plane. She is like her mama and went right to sleep. Her parents on the other hand were total rookies at flying with baby. It's going to take some time getting use to that. While we are at the airport, Derek said we're only taking road trips for the next few years. When landing on the plane, he said, this is so much better than driving. So, who knows what our destiny holds for us, but I know we are for sure getting on a plane in three weeks to head to Hawaii. We flew down to the OC for another wedding. Niki is also Persian, so we got to experience the amazing ceremony; and we had a much better view at this wedding, so I was really able to see everything that was happening. It was beautiful. And this time, we were home by 1:00, but we were still dead tired yesterday and wanted to go to bed at 8:00 last night. But, we stuck it out until 9:00 because it just didn't feel right going to bed that early.

Maren desperately wants to crawl, but she just can't quite figure it out. When we were at the airport, there was a little boy crawling around and she was talking to him and loved watching him crawl around. She has a good backward push going on right now though.

So that's the update from the Lindgren crew. I promise to post pictures shortly.

Back to the Real World

Maren's first beach experience

Look closely. . .the black blur is Griffin running like the wind up and down the beach.

Griffin thought this vacation was all about him.

So. . .today ends my second day of being back to work. This is how I feel about work: lost, confused, saddened, disappointed, but happy to see old faces and catch up. I can do without the actual work piece of it though. But, I must find a way to rediscover my passion. We'll see how long that takes. Meanwhile, Maren is doing fabulous. She loves Maritza, her nanny. I think she has a great time with her; and she has been full of giggles and smiles when I've walked in the door. Having Maritza and knowing Maren is being well cared for has made this transition 100 times easier than I expected it to be. She is the only shining light in this situation.

But. . .enough of the woe is me. Prior to D day, we spent 4 days in this tiny town called Anchor Bay, population 146, in Mendocino County. I loved it. We were totally removed from the craziness. We stayed in this fantastic B and B. It is called the North Coast Country Inn. If you have the opportunity to head that way, I highly recommend it. It was so peaceful there. I would love to spend a ton of time there. The property is beautiful. It is across the street from the ocean. It felt very private; and the breakfast was amazing. And while there was no phone, cell phone reception, internet access of television (I was a little paranoid when finding this out upon arriving) I loved every minute of being totally disconnected. I challenge each of you to try it for 2 days. (Sadly. . .I didn't take a single picture of the property. I am seriously lame on that front.)

Oh. . .and a side note. This was Griffin's first and last hotel/B&B experience. I don't think he is cut out for the vacation life. We need to be totally out in the wilderness on our own for her to tag along again. And another side note, we stopped off in Petaluma and took Griffin to this place that lets dogs herd sheep. I think he thought he had died and gone to heaven. That was a great thing to watch; and we do hope to take him back there.

To Facebook or not to Facebook - That is the question

Ok. . .I took the plunge. I signed up for Facebook. I have been completely anti for quite some time, but now it is almost more annoying that so many people ask me why I'm not on Facebook. So, I decided to set up an account. Now I no longer have to answer that question. I'm still on the fence on how active of a participant I will become. No offense to the world, but I don't care if you're stuck in traffic right now or you feel fat today or whatever it is that you randomly post on there. (And don't get me started on Twitter because I really can't stand that technology.) I also think it is a false way of connecting with people. Sure there will be a few friends that you really lost contact with and this provides you an opportunity to reconnect. But lets be honest, there is a reason you did not stay in contact with a vast majority of these people. So, why are you now inclined to read their info? If you were really a friend, you would have stayed in touch.

I feel like an old lady saying these things; and if I were my boss I'd probably fire me for not being on top of our competition, but I know what they are up to from an advertising standpoint, I don't feel I need to be a participant.

So reluctantly. . .I am now on Facebook.

2 weeks left

Today marks the two week count down before I head back to work. I can't believe it. The time has gone by so quickly. And I honestly thought I would be ready to head back to work. But I can say there is no part of me that wants to go back. I do miss adult interaction and using my brain more than I've been using it, but that's about it. And I'm sure I'm perfectly capable of finding both somewhere else. I think what is adding to my lack of desire to return is the fact that it is unclear what the job is I will be returning to. Many things have changed while I've been away. I think the uncertainty of all of it is just making it seem very stressful. I may or may not have the same job. I may or may not continue working out of the San Francisco office. I haven't received confirmation I can work from home on Fridays, but it is an absolutely must with my nanny situation. I hate thinking about all of this.

Thoughts that run through my mind. . .
1 Maybe I can be a stay at home mom. This thought is quickly challenged as soon as I think of how on earth we'd pay our bills if I didn't work. It would require a major change in lifestyle and probably moving out of the state or back somewhere near where I grew up.
2. Maybe we should just move. This thought is also challenged as soon I think about how on earth we would ever be able to sale our current house in the bad real estate market.
3. Maybe I'll change jobs. Yeah. . .not an option. No one is hiring.
4. Maybe I should just get pregnant again so I can go on maternity leave all over again. (This is looking like my best option.) hahaha. My body is definitely not ready for this. My hernia is still pretty large and I feel more and more like an old lady every day. And I think this wouldn't go over so well at work.

On a positive note. . .my nanny quit. But, I'm perfectly satisfied with that because I have found a new nanny that is wonderful. She had her first day today so she and Maren can get to know one another before she is full time with her. Maren will be spending Mon-Thur with Maritza. Maritza has two teenage children, tons of experience and is just great. And she speaks Spanish. So, I've got to break out my Roseta Stone so my child and husband can not have conversations with one another about me in Spanish. That will be my goal over the next year, learn Spanish.

So with that. . .I will suck it up and find a way to rediscover my passion for the office. Or if you live in a fabulous area, can hire me for a part time job and somehow know a way to get my house sold. Please contact me.

Father's Day

Derek had his first Father's Day. We spent the morning together and then he headed out with my dad, brother and a friend to the golf course for the afternoon. And Maren and mommy went shopping for a dress to wear to her college reunion that doesn't show all the weight she needs to lose.