To Facebook or not to Facebook - That is the question

Ok. . .I took the plunge. I signed up for Facebook. I have been completely anti for quite some time, but now it is almost more annoying that so many people ask me why I'm not on Facebook. So, I decided to set up an account. Now I no longer have to answer that question. I'm still on the fence on how active of a participant I will become. No offense to the world, but I don't care if you're stuck in traffic right now or you feel fat today or whatever it is that you randomly post on there. (And don't get me started on Twitter because I really can't stand that technology.) I also think it is a false way of connecting with people. Sure there will be a few friends that you really lost contact with and this provides you an opportunity to reconnect. But lets be honest, there is a reason you did not stay in contact with a vast majority of these people. So, why are you now inclined to read their info? If you were really a friend, you would have stayed in touch.

I feel like an old lady saying these things; and if I were my boss I'd probably fire me for not being on top of our competition, but I know what they are up to from an advertising standpoint, I don't feel I need to be a participant.

So reluctantly. . .I am now on Facebook.

2 weeks left

Today marks the two week count down before I head back to work. I can't believe it. The time has gone by so quickly. And I honestly thought I would be ready to head back to work. But I can say there is no part of me that wants to go back. I do miss adult interaction and using my brain more than I've been using it, but that's about it. And I'm sure I'm perfectly capable of finding both somewhere else. I think what is adding to my lack of desire to return is the fact that it is unclear what the job is I will be returning to. Many things have changed while I've been away. I think the uncertainty of all of it is just making it seem very stressful. I may or may not have the same job. I may or may not continue working out of the San Francisco office. I haven't received confirmation I can work from home on Fridays, but it is an absolutely must with my nanny situation. I hate thinking about all of this.

Thoughts that run through my mind. . .
1 Maybe I can be a stay at home mom. This thought is quickly challenged as soon as I think of how on earth we'd pay our bills if I didn't work. It would require a major change in lifestyle and probably moving out of the state or back somewhere near where I grew up.
2. Maybe we should just move. This thought is also challenged as soon I think about how on earth we would ever be able to sale our current house in the bad real estate market.
3. Maybe I'll change jobs. Yeah. . .not an option. No one is hiring.
4. Maybe I should just get pregnant again so I can go on maternity leave all over again. (This is looking like my best option.) hahaha. My body is definitely not ready for this. My hernia is still pretty large and I feel more and more like an old lady every day. And I think this wouldn't go over so well at work.

On a positive note. . .my nanny quit. But, I'm perfectly satisfied with that because I have found a new nanny that is wonderful. She had her first day today so she and Maren can get to know one another before she is full time with her. Maren will be spending Mon-Thur with Maritza. Maritza has two teenage children, tons of experience and is just great. And she speaks Spanish. So, I've got to break out my Roseta Stone so my child and husband can not have conversations with one another about me in Spanish. That will be my goal over the next year, learn Spanish.

So with that. . .I will suck it up and find a way to rediscover my passion for the office. Or if you live in a fabulous area, can hire me for a part time job and somehow know a way to get my house sold. Please contact me.

Father's Day

Derek had his first Father's Day. We spent the morning together and then he headed out with my dad, brother and a friend to the golf course for the afternoon. And Maren and mommy went shopping for a dress to wear to her college reunion that doesn't show all the weight she needs to lose.

A Weekend Away

This past weekend I was in Palm Springs for 24hrs with a few of my girlfriends. It was my friend Susie's bachelorette party. Susie introduced Derek and I so she holds a special place in our heart. She is marrying a fantastic guy at the end of July and we couldn't be happier for her.

I had so many mixed feelings going into the weekend.
1. How can I leave her?
2. Will Derek be able to handle it?
3. I can't wait to have some time on my own.
4. I will be able to sleep through the night.

The list goes on and on. So the weekend went like this.

I got Maren up, dressed, fed and packed for a day trip to Folsom for her cousin Jason's 1st birthday. Dad and Maren were out the door at 10:00. I quickly dressed, packed and then had a bit of quality time with Griffin up in the hills before heading to the airport. (That was a serious reminder that I am completely out of shape. I was in better shape at 7 months pregnant than I am now.) As soon as I arrived at the airport, the tears began streaming down my face. I pulled it together upon arrival to Palm Springs.

That night, we had an awesome dinner at a great hotel and then some traditional bachelorette entertainment post dinner, lets just say I spent the remainder of the evening locked in a bathroom with a few friends frightened by what was taking place in the other room. At 1:30 things were beginning to settle down and I laid my head on the pillow for what I thought would be a fabulous night of sleep, nevermind the fact I was on a air mattress with a friend. Unfortunately, my lovely night of sleep didn't go as planned. I was up at 3:30 ready to hear a little cry and heat a bottle and again at 6:45. It was like clock work. I forced myself to stay in bed until 7:45 and then finally got up. After breakfast and chit chatting about the night, we each headed our own way home; and once again I found myself sitting in the airport crying. This time, I was a wreck. I spoke with Derek and he didn't think he was going to make it home before I got there. (He was attending another cousin's 1 yr b-day on Sunday). It made me so sad to think they wouldn't be there when I got home. All I wanted to do was hold Maren. So, I called Derek back in tears and asked him to hop in the car right then so they would make it. And thankfully when I drove up to the house, the car was in the garage and I couldn't have been happier.

While it was great to be with girlfriends, it was incredibly difficult to be away. However, I was thrilled about the fact that Derek and Maren had a great weekend together and she hardly missed mommy.

Photos from the Archive

Ok. . .I've been quite behind with downloading pictures off the camera and uploading to the blog. So this post is dedicated to photos over the last few months. This one is a shot of Maren on a road trip with daddy to her cousin's 1st birthday.

Celebrating another cousin's birthday, Sara 10 yrs old, at the Elephant Bar.

At yoga class with her new best friend Serena, her nanny share partner.

Family photo time on Mother's Day.

Me, mom, Maren and Jody on Mother's Day

Me and my baby girl on Mother's Day

Peyton and Maren on a visit with the Maxfields

Tucker and Jamie Maxfied, friends of many years meeting Maren.

Visiting my Grandma Roark at her nursing facility

Grandma holding Maren for the first time.

New Maren Photos

I just received these and love them. We did a second round of photographs intended to look like it was all from the same session. This is Derek's Father's Day gift. So, it was suppose to be a session with just the two of them, but the photographer decided to throw me into a few too. I didn't exactly prepare for that, so I don't love my shots. But who cares. . .she steels the shot anyway.

Go to: www.collages.net
under guest dialogue box put:
username: Lindgren 2
password: 5109

Enjoy!

Shana

Good Bye May

Ok. . .May went by just as quickly as April, but thankfully with a bit less emotion.

It started out with first Mother's Day. It was a really strange feeling to think of myself as a mother on that day. I think at times I have a hard time associating myself with the concept of mom, but with each day I feel more and more like a mom. We had our mother's over and Derek made breakfast for all of us. Jody and Derek's sister Kerri and the girls were with us too. It was a really nice day. And Derek and Maren got me a beautiful necklace to help me remember the day forever.

The night before Mother's Day, my mom watched Maren and Derek and I had a little date night. We went to a great restaurant in Oakland. Our reservation was at 8:15 and as much as I enjoyed being out alone with Derek, all I could think about was going home and getting in bed. It was really sad. Hopefully I'll have a bit more energy for our next date night.

Next. . .our house was under construction for 2.5 weeks. That was a total disaster. Maren, Griffin and I all had to be out of the house. I think Griffin had the hardest time with it. Towards the end, I just couldn't take leaving the house anymore, so we would hang around the house as long as we could before it got too loud. But, with every noise that was made, Griffin would go around barking at the floor (work was being done on our foundation). Thankfully Derek's mom, Kathi let us all come over and hang out at her house. The one down fall to this was I was without internet the entire time. The great part about it was Maren and both had great naps each day while we were there. We did have one little adventure to Stockton to visit a great friend from college, Ann, and her daughter Carly. While we were there we went to story time at the library and Maren loved watching all the kids and listening to the stories. We had a great time in Stockton! But, lets hope we don't have to go through anymore construction. It ended as all construction projects end. . .taking twice as long and costing twice as much as originally quoted.

In the middle of all of this, we had our second wedding anniversary, May 19th. It was on a Tuesday. Kerri watched Maren for us and we headed out to dinner at a local restaurant we hadn't previously tried. Apparently they are known for their duck, so Derek had the duck. I can't say I'm a fan of duck, so I passed on it and had quail. The meal was fantastic. The wine was amazing; and we had a really nice time together. Thankfully we both made it through dinner without yawning. :) We were actually the last ones to leave the restaurant. It was on this day that I was finally able to give Derek the professional photos I had taken of Maren and I. We shot them a month prior and it was killing me not to show them to him. They turned out so well. If you haven't seen them, take a look here.

1. Go to: www.collages.net
2. under guest dialogue box put:

• username: Maren
• password: 5109

And then we move on to the great nanny hunt. Wow. . .what a wild process. We started out thinking we were going to get a nanny to watch Maren on her own. After a bit of research and one interview, we quickly realized it was going to cost as much as our mortgage to do that. So, then I started looking into nanny shares and it turned out a mom in my yoga class was doing the same thing. We connected and everything started to fall into place from there. We received great recommendations from friends and neighbors on nannies and started the joint interviewing process. I felt like I was back at work going through all of it. And after a few emotional break downs and some great advice from my dear friend Jamie, we finally settled on things on Friday. I'm really happy with our decision; and I'm thrilled to have it out of the way.

Now. . .I can sit back and enjoy a lazy June with hopefully a lot less activity and more simple mommy and Maren time. Because this is our last month before I'm back to work.

And I know it's lame I haven't posted pictures. I've got a ton of them, I just need to download them and I've been lazy about that. I promise to get on it soon.