Arkansas

Last week, I spent 5 days in Arkansas visiting my family. (This trip reminded me how bad I am about taking pictures and I really need to step it up a notch.) I grew up very close to my mother's side of the family. They lived in a "suburb" of our small town. It was about 15 minutes away and we were always together. I spent so much time at my grandparents house. It was like a sanctuary. I remember very often escaping to their house when times seemed tough and it always made me feel better to be there. My grandparents played a very important role in my childhood and I can only hope my daughter, and any other future children, will have as wonderful of a relationship with their grandparents as I had with mine. I really had a special relationship with my grandmother. I was very close to her. She was a rock that I needed at various points in my life. And I'm so grateful for her in so many ways. Over the years she has started to develop Alzheimer's. This is a disease that runs in our family, so we're all looking to that day when it lands within us. The disease has been impacting my grandmother for a few years now, but it has really impacted her life over the last year and a half. It is hard to say this, but she's just not the same person anymore. I found myself getting very frustrated with her while I was there--which saddens me. But I had to keep reminding myself that the person I know is hidden somewhere within the strange new body and mind; and I needed to have patience because I knew she was in there, but it was very difficult. My aunt Tammy is the person that cares for her on a regular basis and I now understand the unbelievable challenge she faces on a daily basis; and I have to thank her from the bottom of heart for taking on this task and trying her best to remain sane while doing it. I am thankful for the time I was able to spend with them; and the next time I see them it will be with my own family in tow. I hope this will be at a point when my grandmother will still remember and understand that this is my child because she always told me I'd be a good mother and she couldn't wait for me to have babies. I love you grandma.

On my trip last week


On my trip last week.

At my wedding.

My mom, grandma and Tammy at Christmas the year before my grandfather passed away.

Me, Jody and Grandma Thanksgiving the year after my grandfather passed away.